Shopping With Spenp
by Halloween Rice
Summary: A shopping day at the Springdale mall with the recently acquainted couple Mermaidyn and Spenp and a grouchy Irewig hired to carry all of the baggage.


"Spenp honey, can we go to that Froyo place I like? I'm getting peckish."

"Ayyyy, of course baby, whatever you like, today's your day aw heck, everyday's your day!

"HEY Irewig, move your spiny rear, your losing us kid!"

"God…somebody just exorcise me already…"

This was the average trade of words for the Yokai trio Mermaidyn, Spenp & Irewig. The three were trotting about the Springdale mall equipped with magical leaves that allowed them to adopt human forms so they can purchase goods in the corporeal mall. Many Yokai agree that human malls have way better stuff then any malls in the Yokai World. Better clothes, better food, you name it and the recently acquainted couple Mermaidyn and Spenp were getting their hands on all of it and Spenp's lackey Irewig was forced to carry everything that the crusty clam was buying for his "princess".

Mermaidyn, a Classic mermaid Yokai was forced to move across the mall in a skateboard due to her lack of legs however, because of her leaf, she appeared as a human girl bound to a wheelchair. Spenp took the appearance of a stereotypical fat cat with a bald head, wearing a pinstripe suit and tie. The Centipede-dragon Yokai, Irewig looked like a little tanned & angry man with spiky hair.

"Jeez, just look at all this junk, How can Spenp just shower that little misfit with this…stuff!" Irewig angrily whispered to himself as he struggled to multitask with holding the surplus of shopping bags, boxes and takeout food and treats. He started to lose his balance and dropped a pink box that he was holding under his arm.

"Crap!"

Irewig looked up to see that Spenp and Mermaidyn didn't hear the audible clunk. Relieved, he slowly crouched down and tried to grab it with his only free hand, he looked at the logo to see that it was from a shoe store. "Shoes? The hussy doesn't even have freaking feet, why the heck is he buying her shoes!?"

"Irewig!" Spenp yelled at the top of his brine filled lungs causing him to jump and juggle the multitude of bags and boxes in paniac, trying not to drop any. He hysterically tried to catch up to the couple while juggling around the various purchased goods. He entered through the frozen yogurt establishment and got into line, Spenp and Mermaidyn was ahead of him by five are so human people and a small white, Lion-Dig Yokai with a green bag, who was also in disguise with a magical leaf.

"So what'cha say? Anything here as sweet as you?" Spenp asked Mermaidyn causing her to blush.

"Oh you charmer! I'll take a chocolate with those little clam shaped candies" Mermaidyn made her order and winked at Spenp.

"Are you trying to imply something you naughty little thing you!" Spenp and Mermaidyn laughed, the cashier was completely perplexed by their seemingly nonsense words.

Irewig made vomiting noises in response to their gushing, being such a spiteful little Yokai he wasn't used to such pleasantries and being forced to lug around their over priced cargo wasn't helping his sour mood but he kept telling himself that it will be all worth it once Spenp pays him for his services, that's if Spenp has anything to give him after this expensive outing. The two retrieved their orders and Mermaidyn scootered over to the tables to eat her yogurt, Spenp however stopped and hovered over to Irewig instead.

"What'cha think ya doing in line pincher face!? Spenp yelled right in Irewig's face. Causing him to flinch

"I'm not paying ya to stuff yourself, now get ova here!" Spenp barked at his lackey, Irewig's whole body radiated with a deep red color and steam shot from his flaring nostrils, he looked as if he was about to blow up but he took a deep breath and complied, not wanting to ruin his chance for a fat paycheck.

He lumbered over to the froyo place's tables and placed all of the shopping bags and such onto one of the tables behind Spenp and Mermaidyn's. He sat down and exhaled a sigh of relief, this was the first time all day where he was able to sit down, his thin, jointed arms were killing him. He looked over to the lovebirds to see Spenp moving all of the chairs with his long tongue to make room for his out-of-water fish princess.

"So how are things goin' babe, sweetheart? Is everything to your likin'? Spenp asked as his girlfriend happily munched on her yogurt.

"I can't be better Spenpy, I've never been happier since I met you! who says online dating never works?"

"Well course we were meant to be, your's truly is head of the dating website's marketing after all!" Spenp bragged.

The two gushed over each other as Irewig was left to wallow in his sardonic cesspool of rage and designer skirts, he stared at them with a scowl that can unnerve even King Enma himself. He was a naturally very pessimistic Yokai but he legitimately didn't like Mermaidyn or the fact that Spenp was not only dating her but was spoiling her like a celebrity's dog.

Mermaidyn looked over to Irewig, feeling as if she was being stared at and she was correct. Irewig jumped after meeting his gaze with her's and faced the other way, trying his best to not look suspicious. Mermaidyn was still staring, not at Irewig but at the horde of shopping bags and other goods. She looked down at her now empty yogurt bowl and frowned.

"So then I says to him, I don't care if you ran into freaking McKraken, either that delivery gets made or your…huh?" Spenp stopped his story and looked over to his girlfriend, she looked very upset by something and Spenp didn't like that one bit.

"Hey babe, what's eatin' ya?" Spenp asked, Mermaidyn blinked and looked up as if she was brought out of deep thought.

"Uh, uh n-n-nothing really, everything's fine don't worry about me!" Mermaidyn forced a smile, trying to reassure her boyfriend, but Spenp wasn't fooled.

"Baby, come on I know when something smells rotten, now come on, you can tell me!" Spenp gave her a reassuring look in his single eye but Mermaidyn just looked away with a even more distraught look on her face.

"S-Sweetheart come on, I hate to see you anything but happy, you can tell little ole' me!" The worried tone in his voice grew as his volume did. "I-I-It's not something I did was it!?" Spenp grew even more worried, the moment was starting to get to Mermaidyn, she squinted her eyes as hard as she can and curled her hands into tight fists that shivered in her scaly lap.

"Whatever it was, I-I'll never do it again just tell me, Kissing Fish!" Spenp was starting to get emotional himself, Mermaidyn broke into tears and cried in her hands softly, seeing this broke Spenp's barnacle encrusted heart. Irewig's attention was also brought to her unexpected crying fit.

"What's wrong lady, trouble in paradise?" Irewig scoffed under his breath

"I-I-I'm sorry…" Mermaidyn choked with her dainty hands still covering her face. Spenp's one eye widened from the words she barely was able to muster.

"It's just that…I've been around f-for hundreds of years and n-no one, person or Yokai has ever been s-s-so nice to me *sniff*"

Mermaidyn's words made even Irewig's heart skip a beat, not because of the revelation that she had a bullying issue. He knew about her victim complex, nearly everybody in the Yokai world did, it was the sincerity in her voice that made him have a change of attitude.

"I never got to tell you b-but…I'm just so happy with you I am but y-you shower me with so many gifts, presents and surprises that…*sniff* I feel like I really don't deserve them."

"I DON'T DESERVE A SINGLE THING!"

Mermaidyn yelled her last words so loud that everyone in the froyo establishment and even further out stopped and looked over what they think is a wheelchair bounded woman. Mermaidyn continued to cry but was stopped with a napkin wiping away her tears, she looked to see Spenp using his tongue to clean her face.

"Ah shucks…I knew this was my fault" Spenp said with a sigh of relief as he looked into Mermaidyn's

"Spe…Spenpy" Mermadyn choked as he continued to clean her tear ridden face.

"I overwhelmed ya didn't I?…tell ya what babe, why don't we cut our shopping day short and just go home?, we can snuggle up and watch that show with the cryin' fruit, sound fresh to you?" Spenp asked with a voice as soft as his Brooklyn accent could allow, his sincerity made Mermaidyn cry even harder only this time with a smile on her face. Adjacent to them was Irewig who looked over the couple with complete awe, Spenp hovered over to him making him snap back into reality.

"Come on, stinger butt, we're going home." Spenp told him as he hovered back to his girlfriend, Irewig simply complied and started grabbing bags but was stopped by a hand being put on his shoulder, he looked over to see Mermadyn with some fresh tears still in her eyes.

"Why don't you let us help you with that Irewig?, it does look like an awful lot…right Spenpy!" Mermadyn said as she blankly stared at the cycloptic clam.

"Oh uh…yeah, yeah come on kid, let us have some of those!" Spenp said in a commanding manner. This day was getting more and more unbelievable to Irewig by the minute.

Finally, the three Yokai got to a purple limousine with eyes for headlights, a vehicle that could only be made in the Yokai world. Mermaidyn was already off her skateboard and was sitting on top of the fine leather seat in the back, Spenp and Irewig however were loading the shopping bags in the trunk, Irewig stopped and turned to Spenp.

"Hey uh, boss I have to say, you really hooked a good one this time." Irewig said with genuine modesty, something that was quite rare for him, Spenp turned around and gave him a crooked look.

"I mean, I thought this one was going to be like the others you know? A gold digging weasel." Spenp growled at him for using those words, Irewig gulped, receiving the message Spenp was sending.

"B-but today at the froyo place, she showed me otherwise, she felt bad about you buying her stuff, I never thought I'd see the day where a broad feels bad about being pampered you know?" Irewig said, Spenp gave him a look of astonishment but went right back to a scowl not a second later.

"She's…she's a real good gal." Irewig said with sincerity.

"Yeah well, it's about time you wised up and realized that you asinine arthropod!" Spenp said without making eye contact, that's when Irewig knew that his briny boss was being sincere, he placed the last shopping bag into the trunk, closed it and started to walk to the driver's side.

"Hey uh, Irewig." Spenp said stopping Irewig in his tracks.

"Listen, you really don't deserve this but eh, here ya go." Spenp closed his body and a single paycheck came out with a cash register ring. Irewig grabbed it with anticipation and eyed the generous number printed on the sweet, pink paper.

"Wow…thanks boss, I thought you were going to cut the pay in half because of you and Mermaidyn helping me carry them out!"

"I was!" Spenp said with a glare. "But…the broad talked me out of it, It's important to make sure that your woman is always happy Irewig, remember that when your trying to get your grubby claws on a chick!" Spenp said as he hovered off, a legitimate smile stretching across Irewig's face.

"Bring us home Centipain-in-my-rear, on the double!" Spenp said with glee as Mermaidyn was holding him in a tight embrace. Irewig started the limousine and started to back out of the parking lot.

"Well Mermaidyn, my shining pearl, I hope you liked all your gifts!" Spenp said with utmost happiness.

"Oh I do, Thank you so much Spenpy!"

For once, Irewig was okay with the two gushing over each other.

"Although, I don't know why you insisted on buying me those shoes, I don't even have feet!" Mermaidyn cheerfully said as she lightly swung around her tail. Irewig froze in terror, his entire body now a sickly grey and white color, the word "shoes" echoed in his head as he reminiscent earlier at the mall, back when he dropped the pink shoe box.

 _"Oh sweet Enma…I forgot the shoooooes!"_ Irewig cried in his head as he squeezed the steering wheel, his whole body was starting to quiver like a leaf. "Stay cool Irewig, just stay cool, maybe Mermaidyn won't notice, Spenp might not even notice."

The three were interrupted by a knocking at the driver's window, Irewig screamed with absolute terror, being snapped back to reality, he hastily unrolled the window to reveal a chunky child with black spiky hair, a blue jacket and a white shirt.

"What do you want kid!?" Irewig yelled at the child. He then looked down and noticed he was holding a pink box, Irewig's rage washed away, replaced with mortification and he started to foam at the mouth as if he was having a seizure.

"Uh…I just want to say that you dropped this earlier and I'm here to give it to you." The large child said in a rather uninterested sounding tone, ignoring the fact that the "man" he was talking to was rapidly foaming at the mouth. Mermaidyn peered trough the driver's window and grabbed the box.

"Thank You!"

"So do I get a reward or what?" the child said, Irewig simply pressed the button on the side of the driver's door, automatically rolling the window up again, he slouched in his chair, sweating profusely.

"IREWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGG!"

The deep voice made the Centipede-dragon jump and shiver with absolute terror, he looked behind his seat to see Spenp with a purple, shadowy smog seeping from his mouth and his eye now a glowing dagger of rageful red. All Irewig could do was scream what he was sure was going to be his final words.

"SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANY FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTT!"


End file.
